Sometimes people use the word motivation when they mean ambition. Ambition is a desire, a dream, for something better or at least different.
In his epic poem Ulysses – Alfred Lord Tennyson writes: To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths Of all the western stars, until I die . . . . . Tho' much is taken, much abides; . . . . . that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.[1] Can we read those immortal and inspiring words of Tennyson and remain worried about our children's inherent drive to dream? Can we believe that a financial inheritance, whatever the size, will destroy the drive “to sail beyond the sunset” or destroy the inner push “to strive, to seek and to find” so beautifully described by Tennyson and by Homer before him? Shakespeare tells us in Hamlet in one the darkest hours in the classic play, that it is the thought of future dreams that pulls the prince away from the precipice of ending his life Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep-- No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come We all have the capacity and the drive to dream. Sometimes we see, and it is very sad when we do, that drive to dream is shut down. But the drive to dream does not disappear it is stifled, it goes underground, and it is suppressed. The result is sometimes depression, sometimes addiction. As parents we are able to neither predict, nor instruct, what dreams may come for our children. But we can stifle their dreaming at great cost. Separating our dreams from our children's dreams - is a major task of parenting - we want them to be happy - and we think we know what will make them happy. Separating the parent dreams from the dreams of their children seems logical and simple however in reality it can be very difficult. As parents do we want our children to inherit (our) dreams or do we want our children to create their own? Parents worry their children's dreams are unrealistic . . . that all the distractions provided by the family money will act as permanent detours. Like Ulysses, parents worry their children will lured by the “Lotus” [2]and become stranded on a remote island.[3] Paradoxically that fear pushes parents to direct their children away from the Lotus and in the process artificially inhibit the child's capacity to dream. They stifle the child's journey of self exploration. Questions: Why are we afraid that money will spoil our children’s capacity to dream? Do we think that they will never be frustrated if they have enough money? Do we believe that they will never dream if they have enough money? Do we believe that it is possible that all their dreams will be fulfilled? [1] Alfred, Lord Tennyson 1809–1892 [2] In Greek mythology the Lotus-eaters were a race of people living on an island dominated by lotus plants. The lotus fruits and flowers were the primary food of the island and were narcotic, causing the people to sleep in peaceful apathy. [3] In Greek mythology, the Sirens (Greek singular: Σειρήν Seirēn; Greek plural: Σειρῆνες Seirēnes) were beautiful yet dangerous creatures, who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. Comments are closed.
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